Neglegance....

I started this blog in a time of uncertainty, hoping beyond all hope the journaling would allow me to sort through the mass of emotions that I was feeling. It seems, that at times, my emotional turmoil is best left not written about.


What I am saying is that some things; I suppose, I am just not sure I want to share. The fear of judgment is so strong that I don't want to know if people will stop reading my little blog if they find out the truth... that my optimism is just a cover for the pessimist that lays awake all night long.


However, it is my new resolution, if you will, that I blog regardless of how it may be perceived by people. For those that are truly my friends now my pessimistic side and know the drama that I hold so close to my heart. So here is yet another update to catch you up on the life and times of me.


You all know that the sperm donor has been cut out of my life, although he has tried a few times to contact me, things have been pretty tame on that end....though there has been some family drama around it since, nothing major and nothing that isn't easily brushed off. For the most part my family is being pretty respectful about the whole thing.

A and I have had a few conversations, nothing major, mostly A apologizing; wanting to be friends and offering me some much needed support with my newest career choice. Which I have to say is very nice of him; however, I am unsure if I am ready to do the whole friends thing... I still love him despite my poor attempts at moving on.

Moving on?!?!?!.... I know, I've tried....it hasn't really gone over well; actually that's a bit of an understatement; my attempts to move on in the man department have gone over like a tonne of bricks sitting in a concrete bowl trying to float on water. I tend to compare whoever I may be on a date with to A, and while I am doing that the inevitable "what do you want to do with your life?" question arises.... which I answer proudly, "I am in the process of joining the Canadian Forces, I plan on being a medical technician." My beaming response generally receives this wonderful next response... "Oh, so that means your leaving soon and wont be around...." followed by eyes darting around looking for the nearest exit.

Although, on a side note, on one of these occasions where guy did not just go running for the door I did manage to receive my first ever hickey... I was less than impressed by this stellar move and promptly bolted for previously mentioned door.

Ces't la Vie.

Which leads me to the CF, I am supposedly getting a call in early January to find out when I will be leaving... that's right folks I am unofficially accepted.... please hold all applause and congrats until the actually acceptance arrives and I have sworn in. Even writing this I am afraid that there will be a sudden mishap and the CF will change its mind.

Now for the best news of the evening!!! Tomorrow marks the last move of 2009!! YAY!! Now this to many doesn't seem to be exciting I know. However this is move number 4 for 2009 and I will be very ecstatic to have it completed...as you can probably tell by the amount of exclamation marks. I would also like to add, that I have packing my room down to a science, and can now complete said packing in 2 hours with boxes moved into car and labeled.

What else has happened? Hmmm... well my car, will probably not be getting sold. The windshield needs to be replaces, I need the timing belt changed on it before it goes, I just got a tune up done because the check engine light came on 2 days after I had a flat tire and today after I get it back from the dealership (where the tune up was done) I drove out to check on a friends cats (I hate cats) only to find that my front tire has a leak in it.... stupid car. Plus I owe more than it is worth and I don't want to rip someone off.

Anyway that is my life in a nutshell, more to come after the move into the new house. :)

"It's okay to put me on the top of my priority list."
- Stiletto