he contacts me.
I have been struggling the last few months; flopping from being okay with my life now, finding out who I am and what I want for my life. I finally figure it out and then A contacts me; and I feel the hurt all over again.
I know I should just change my number, or not answer or ignore the emails; but I can't bring myself to do it. I love him still, I know part of me always will. But I can't seem to let him go... part of me wants to, I just want to move on, but part of me wants him still, that part of me just wants her man back, the guy that she started dating and fell hopelessly in love with from the very first kiss.
I am at a loss of what to do, the contact kills me, almost as much as the lack of contact does. I know that a little piece of me is just tired of being alone, but I also know that still wanting him is bigger than that little piece. I am trying to be happy about the opportunities that are in front of me, but I feel like 90% of me is faking it.
I just want to go back to bed, I'm tired, and lonely and scared...and I just want to feel safe again.
Still longing for something that will never be;
- Stiletto
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I hate to say it but in time things will work out... in saying that, I wish I could speed up time for you... *hugs*
ReplyDeletehugs hun. its never easy. thats how it use to be with K... just when i thought things were getting better he would ALWAYS pop up and i would be an emotional wreck. perhaps why it took a million years to get over him. even now it still hurts a bit. but i promise you you'll find something better.
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