Dear CF,

I know it is close to the holiday season, and that my application is just one small one in the massive pile that you have to process; however, I really really really hate my job. Therefore I would appreciate hearing from you very very soon.

I know that I have had knee surgery and I have had the one thing that you tend to look out for when saying yes or no to applicants; but if I promise not to complain if the Patella femoral pain disorder acts up, would you speed up the process a little? Because I will promise that, really, I will.

I know it seems like I am asking a lot, but really I just want to leave my job today... I would like nothing more than to go to the jack-ass who is my current boss, and let him know that he can take this job and shove it. You see CF, my current boss has decided that I am a big floozy and am dating people in my office, not just dating them but sleeping with them too... now you and I both know that I am not getting any, in fact it has been an awful long time since this has happened. And it really pisses me off that he would insinuate that and put me on some sort of watch like a child because of his opinion.

Anyway, the point that I am getting at is that I would really like to be a member of the CF, not just because of the whole shitty boss thing, but it seems to be the only thing I get excited about anymore. Like I said I know your busy and its only been 2 and a half weeks since my paperwork got sent in, but to me it feels like it has been years. And really it kind of has been years... it's just that I decided to do something about it recently. I know that in reality all this waiting should be teaching me some patience; but there is a saying that you can't teach and old dog new tricks... and CF, I am an old dog when it comes to Patience.

So please, if you could just find my application in that big pile that you have, move it to the top and stick a big red accepted stamp on it so that the recruiters here can call me and tell me when I can quit my job and start my new life that'd be awesome.

Thanks,
- Stiletto