Date #1

If you asked me way back in July if I would date again... I would have told you no. but life goes on and I have found that you need to adapt and move with it or you just get left behind... and no one wants to be left behind.

So today I went on my first date in a loooooong time. It was actually a pretty decent date with a really decent guy although I don't see any potential ...

A mix of emotions has filled me as of recently and I am not 100% sure that it is fair to anyone to start something that would have to put on hold for months and months while I am away doing my training, and I really don't feel like putting my life on hold (once again) for something. But am I really ready to date...No.

The date went really well, there was a lot of laughing, and never a lack of conversation but some topics that we talked about held some red flags for me. I am finding that the older I get the more I know what I want out of life and the less I am willing to change what I want for someone else.... after all Cinderella got it all, why can't I?

Anyway back to the date, it wasn't much of anything but walking and talking, we got ice cream and just chatted about things, life in general, a bit about our backgrounds and what each of us wanted in the future (this is where I saw red flags). Our views of what the future held were vastly different, however I kept my mouth shut on this for the time being as people don't need to know right away that I want babies, and that I am sort of on a timed schedule for them. Its not really a first date topic... there was also a lot of talk about why someone would join the military and why someone would choose to leave it. There seemed to be a lot of talk as to why someone would leave, leading me to believe that he didn't realize that people stayed in the CF for life, make a career out of it. (which is my plan right now....but we all know plans change)....And the word crazy came up a lot in reference to joining the military... I have yet to establish of that is a good crazy or a bad crazy.

Time will tell I suppose, but I am deciding right now to be a little more decisive in these matters than I have been in the past. Red flags are always red flags and I have learned my lesson in hoping that that the red flags will go away.

living for me has never been so complicated and educational,
- Stiletto